3 Simple Secrets on How to Stop Being Too Nice

Do you want to know the secret of dominance?

If so, here it is:

Being nice is a loser’s game.

Read that again.

If you don’t believe me, let me ask you this:

Have you ever asked yourself why seemingly “mean” people get all of the success when it comes to business, women, goals, etc.?

If that’s the case, it all boils down to being too nice.

This is why you must learn how to stop being too nice to people.

I will teach you everything you need to know about unlearning this “nice” curse and start building a dominant empire for yourself in whatever you do.

Before my first point, let me make a distinction here:

There is being nice and there is being kind.

I define nice as pleasing other people just for the sake of pleasing people. This stems from a lack of self-confidence and from an apologetic mindset.

Kindness, on the other hand, deals with honest truth and treating people depending on how they treat you.

Big difference.

Always be kind, but never be nice.

That being said, this is how you stop being nice.

Decide To Own Every Situation You Are In

This is critical for becoming the dominant person in the room.

What happens to most people is they act “politically correct” to please other people when in reality, they know deep down that they don’t have to do that and they could say the truth.

This is why most employees aren’t trustworthy. They don’t say nor do what is on their mind when they need to act in accordance to what is on their mind.

As a result, their environment owns them to the point where they become mindless zombies. They can’t think for themselves and they can’t get what they want. All because they don’t own what they do and want someone else to do the work for them.

Let me ask you, wherever you have been, have you seen anyone act like this?

If so, did you respect them?

Chances are you did not respect them.

Why? Because no one respects a coward.

You see, cowards chicken out of every situation when they know that they need to go and it is the right time to go.

These people are conformists and they get NOWHERE in life.

Do you want to be a nobody, a somebody or better yet, the body?

All you need to do is follow what your gut is telling you to do.

Of course, you have to thoughtfully consider what you do, but your gut will tell whether or not to thoughtfully consider what you are doing.

This is a rule of ethics where you must follow your intuition to resolve the situation at hand.

If you don’t know, ask.

If you know not to do it, don’t do it.

If you know to do it, do it.

These cowards get in trouble from knowing that they need to do any of the above things in a given scenario, but they don’t act on these cues.

As a result, they don’t deserve your respect.

When you act in accordance to what your intuition is telling you to do, you earn respect and you don’t feel regret.

Now on top of making the correct choices at certain times, you have to understand this next point:

When people tell you to be nice, they are asking you to kiss their ass.

When people tell you to kiss their ass, they are setting you up so that they can take control over your situation.

Have you ever heard of the phrase “nice guys always lose?”

It’s true for a reason.

Because they do.

You have to analyze everyone’s behavior with a critical eye. Be wary of what they are doing, even if they are acting too nice.

If you aren’t wary of their behavior, they will get you to think on your emotions and you will not think logically about the situation.

This is the first step to falling for a trap and hence one of the disadvantages of being too nice.

Thinking for yourself instead of other people is the first step to self-awareness in a situation and it will dictate what the rational course of action to take is.

Now ask yourself, what situation are you in right now that you know that you need to take control of, but you aren’t?

I encourage you to write down that situation on a sheet of paper right now and also note what you will do to correct your situation.

If appropriate, give yourself a deadline to accomplish this task so that you hold yourself accountable for doing what you say you are going to do.

Be honest with yourself. The world is full of liars and that’s why the world is full of shit for most people.

Don’t create a life full of bullshit nonsense. Be honest and get to work doing what must be done to achieve your true desire.

And, just because I still think you don’t get it, DON’T FUCKING BULLSHIT YOURSELF!

You’ll poison yourself if you bullshit yourself.

Now here is what you must do next to stop being “Mr. nice guy.”

Be You

Mister Rogers always said that every day is a special day if you live every day according to everything that makes you you.

Let me tell you something, he’s right.

It all starts with you.

Everything in your world ends with you.

You shape the world the way you want to shape the world.

Sure, there is something called a “boss” who always demands what he/she wants in business, but that is an obstacle to getting what you want in life.

Everything that you want in life will always have obstacles. Otherwise, they aren’t worth having.

But it is always your choice as to whether or not you want to pay the price required to have all that you want.

It is a conscious choice that you make as to whether you live your dream life or not.

If you choose against it, you will shoot yourself in the foot and you will forever regret not doing what you said you’d do.

This is the worst feeling in the world to have. Trust me, people kill themselves over this. That’s why you can’t let any moment pass where you do what you need to do because it feels right inside.

Otherwise, you will get depressed, you will get angry and you will become someone that will turn off other people from wanting to be your friend.

Trust me, you would be shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t listen to your true self.

Your true self is the light that gives you meaning in your life.

No one will take as good care of you than you.

Understand that and you will go far in life.

Now, about everyone else,

Hard Ass Those Who Don’t Do Their Jobs

Here’s the thing with most people:

They don’t give a crap about you.

Read that again so you understand every word of it.

People care about one thing and one thing only and that is:

Themselves.

Every time they are at their job, they are thinking about turning on Netflix the very first chance they get.

Every time they are at their job, they want to click away from the screen and go to their favorite social media site to look at cute bunny filters (or whatever they are called) that their girlfriends posted on their accounts.

And for most guys, it’s to go back home and watch porn. No seriously, that’s reality.

As a result, if you are a business owner (even an employee who is doing a hell of a job), you don’t want to be the victim of lost profits or a bad evaluation report all because of someone else’s wrong doing and laziness (and their blind stupidity).

The best teams in the world are the ones that are the most accountable. Accountability is everything, even if you are afraid to admit it.

It makes or breaks your business.

So the only way to get people to do their jobs is to establish this firm accountability and actively reinforce this system without being the doormat person who doesn’t enforce the rules.

And this is another thing with nice guys. Nice guys don’t reinforce the rules. As a result, everyone encountering them can act as if they can break the rules without any punishment coming from it.

This system of reinforcing rules is also a business because you are providing value in the form of getting them out of trouble in exchange for their attention.

Employees and the people around you MUST consistently see the negative repercussions of not following your rules if you want compliance.

This will arouse a need in them to comply or they will go through a life of hell (which in all honesty, they are the ones who are hell, not you).

What you need to do is see what everyone is doing through whatever means necessary like installing cameras or seeing the conversations taking place, etc.

That way, you will know whether you are being ripped off or not.

The very moment you see this non-compliance taking place, assuming you’ve spoken to a lawyer about what you can and can’t do, do not hold back on your behavior. Curse at them if you have to.

Call them stupid. Call them sissies. Surprise them with a suspension.

Make them work overtime.

Drag that doofus man out of his dinner with his wife and let him look at you and call you whatever names he wants.

The reality is that THEY are stealing and THEY are thieves who need to be severely punished for their recklessness.

You are not the asshole. The employees who don’t comply with your protocols and/or not holding up with their end of the bargain ARE assholes.

Trust me, I’ve tried this method of management before and let me tell you, it works.

When you know what you are talking about, they will do nothing but listen to you and act like the bitches that they are.

They’ll criticize you and tell you that you have an issue, but deep down, that’s a defense mechanism to hold you back. They are envious of you. They want to do anything and everything to get out of the trouble that’s about to come their way.

In this case, just ignore them.

Keep pounding that drum of yours and they will never defeat you.

They will come to learn their fate pretty fast.

As one man said, they are as clumsy as they are stupid.

Let them be clumsy and do this when they don’t do their job.

Many of the great business leaders did this to employees who did not do their jobs and they were extremely effective in garnering compliance amongst employees to do their job.

For example, Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos are arguably two of the most ruthless business leaders of all time.

They would criticize employees, call them out on the job and yell at other business partners even though they are trying to do business with you.

Many employees became enraged with these two, particularly Jobs, claiming that they are the most difficult people to work with and that they would never work with them again.

For most employees, working in these cultures was a nightmare.

It was, and still is, a reality TV show nightmare for a lot of employees to work for their companies.

But, these tactics worked.

Apple and Amazon respectively are 2 of the largest and most feared companies on the planet and they are both 2 of the 4 trillion dollar companies on the planet.

Personally, I can’t think of any companies that used other strategies that didn’t involve ruthless management that became extremely successful in their own regard.

All successful companies, sports teams and people had ruthlessness in them to get where they needed to go.

It’s just a simple fact of life.

We humans are animals to and we have the same desire to win for the sake of survival just like every other creature on the planet.

It really is eat or be eaten.

If you want to be eaten, be “nice.”

If you want to thrive, let alone survive, you have to hunt.

In a fair world, would it be like this? No, of course not. In a utopian “civilized” society, it wouldn’t be like this.

But the real world is like this and you have to suck it up and adapt to it or you will be eaten fast.

Nuff said.

Crazy, right?

A big reality TV show that we are all a part of.

Who knows, aliens might be watching us and laughing their butts off!

If you got a lot out of this post and you want more mind-blowing content guaranteed to increase your productivity and potential in life over time, definitely subscribe to Join the Island, the world’s greatest blog, with your email below in the action box.

I promise you that you are awesome. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

However, don’t be “nice” or you’ll pay life’s hidden price.

You’ve been warned.

Until next time,

This is Evan signing off.

PS: Comment below with what you got out of the post. It’d be great to see your results from what you read today!