3 Reasons Why It’s Very Hard to Find a Sustainable Relationship In This Jungle of a World

Chances are if you clicked on this post, you are wondering why finding a sustainable relationship, whether it’s personal or business, is difficult.

To tell you the short answer, it’s because people can be REALLY complicated.

And there are many reasons as to why these people are complicated, many of which you wouldn’t even thin they would be doing.

In this post, I will reveal 3 things that people do when they are in relationships that makes them go sour very fast.

Let’s get right into it.

1. Smiling Faces With Hidden Agendas

Let me explain what I mean by this.

Your girlfriend or your wife seems to be the happiest person in the world around you. She smiles, she laughs, she loves you, but wait, she’s not passionate in bed.

How can this be?

How can she love you one moment and then the next moment when it’s time to really get real, she isn’t in it at all?

I think a dog has the answer to this question:

That’s right. Chances are, she is doing a con job behind your back.

People will do anything to deceive another person when they are trying to hide the circumstances of what they are doing.

Let me dive deep into a famous example to illustrate this further.

Elon Musk has had many wives.

Sometimes, the relationships fell apart because he is a workaholic (not a bad thing).

However, with his first wife, he pulled off one of the greatest master plans in relationship history and it goes like this:

He met his first wife (Justine Musk) in college. He was already working on getting to Mars the moment he stepped into Canada.

He thought in his head “I need someone to serve as my poster wife while I do what I need to do.”

The moment he saw his future wife in university, he was like “Ok, she’s a good fish to catch. Let me drop a bait in and see if she bites.”

So he introduces himself to Justine and he immediately got her to like him and he bought her plenty of books to keep her happy and amused with him.

She felt like a queen and was intensely in love with Elon since no one ever treated her the way he treated her.

So one day, Elon went down on one knee and he made the proposal. Of course, she said yes.

They get married, they go for their dance and then Elon says this:

“I am the alpha in this relationship.”

I think this is appropriate:

After that, everything went downhill.

Justine felt angry throughout the marriage with Elon dominating her every chance he got.

He was focused on his work while she wanted an intimate relationship with both of them expressing each other honestly.

They went to counseling, but it didn’t work and Elon gave his ultimatum that went like this:

“Either we fix this marriage today or I will divorce you tomorrow.”

And sure enough, the latter one happened.

And what was the root of it?

A smiling face with a hidden agenda.

Here’s the deal with relationships whether it’s personal or business:

It will always be abstract to some degree.

What I mean by that is you can’t see every detail behind the other person, so you have to rely on cues to decode what the other person is doing.

And that’s what you need to realize about people.

Almost every relationship is adversarial in nature because the other person is going to look after him or herself over you in some regard.

Of course, assuming you are an honest person and you aren’t doing anything shady, it’s not you who is causing the trouble.

The best way to determine whether or not the other person is doing something suspicious like cheating or violating a business deal is to listen to what your gut is saying.

From experience, it’s usually right.

Why?

Because it’s rooted in your instincts, which look after your well-being more than anything else.

So if your senses say there is something up with your partner, chances are there is.

The next best thing to do is to see if they are doing abnormal behaviors like if the other person is not passionate in bed, the person doesn’t want to talk to you, the other person does not want you anywhere in a certain time, etc.

Why are these red flags? Because this means they are trying to do something without you finding out what it is.

Of course, if it’s for something like a call to work and it needs to be private, that’s one thing.

But if it’s for something you would normally deem non-significant, then it should raise a red flag.

I won’t discuss it with regards to a business setting for legal reasons, but in short, if something looks weird in any way, it probably is and you should act accordingly.

Now if the suspicious nature wasn’t enough, there is another reason why relationships crash that you can avoid in your career and personal life and that is:

2. Conflicting Interests / Personalities

And hence, we have the root of war.

Listen, if you both aren’t on the same page, you are already on the wrong foot.

Over time, as you saw with Elon and Justine, if both of you have different priorities and one side is dominating over the other, you are both doomed to fail.

The best way to start and maintain the relationship is to set the groundwork for open communication from the first date (or consultation).

This means have a policy for honesty, express to the prospective partner what they expect from you and what you should expect from him/her and expressing both your likes and dislikes (this can happen over several dates; you don’t have to commit on the first date).

If there is a problem or a concern the other partner must know, he or she must express it immediately to rectify the problem.

If not, your relationship will fail and you will suffer the consequences (major consequences if you’re married).

With regards to Elon and Justine, there clearly wasn’t honest communication about the interests of each other’s preferences for a relationship until the marriage commenced.

As a result, it ended in divorce.

And so do up to 50% of marriages (even though this stat is up for debate) and up to 80% of business relationships.

So before commencing any relationship, there needs to be a set agreement on the terms of the relationship.

If you commence in a business relationship, a contract is a MUST.

Why? Because it’s the only way to hold everyone accountable.

If you can consult an attorney prior to commencing a business relationship or a marriage, do it. It’s worth every penny for the amount that you will save down the line.

Just like the article says, if you are entering a business deal with a family member, goals and deadlines must be set and EVERYONE must be on the same page.

If one person isn’t on the same page, don’t engage in the relationship until everyone is on the same page.

Continuity and consistency and everyone understanding their role prior and during the relationship are musts.

Otherwise, drama will ensue and you will be the next reality TV hit.

And as a rule of thumb, unruly people, even if they are seemingly the best in their field, should AUTOMATICALLY be disqualified from entering a relationship with. Plain and simple.

And last but not least,

3. No KISS

This is the acronym for “Keep it Simple Stupid.”

Another reason why relationships fail is because one or more parties fail to adhere to employ some common sense.

What I mean by that is people tend to overcomplicate things unnecessarily.

Allow me to elaborate.

Putting all of the pieces of this blog post together, let’s say you go out on a date with a prospective partner and you tell your partner some things about yourself.

However, your gut is telling you to say something you feel is important, but you didn’t say it because you felt insecure about saying it.

Now her gut is saying something about you and it’s right.

Even though she goes against her own gut not to be your girlfriend, she does anyway, which is clearly not in line with common sense and makes the thing more complicated than it really is.

6 months into the relationship, the thing you didn’t tell her about finally shows and you both get into an argument.

She gets impulsive and tells all of her friends about you behind your back.

Now there are more people involved than there should be.

You start to feel bad about yourself and you do not like it at all.

As you can already tell, this is getting REALLY complex.

That’s because most relationships are like that unnecessarily and starting with this post right now, you can avoid all of this unnecessary clutter.

Of course, if he, she or they is causing all of the problems, you need to make sure they get their act together or get out of the relationship ASAP.

But if both of you work together as a team with set goals and strategies and you are both honest and forthcoming with each other without all of the bullshit and there is common sense, your chances of success will be higher than normal.

But most importantly, be honest at all times.

If you lie, it’s your head on the chopping block and you know it.

If you are a guy, I encourage you to limit your masturbation as much as possible so you maintain your sexual energy and your drive to get women and ultimately, crush it in your career.

Masturbation can be useful for seeing which type of women you like and can go after, but limit it.

Save it for the bedroom when you get the girl.

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Until next time,

This is Evan signing off.

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